Testimony of Joan Clinning
I was brought up in South Africa as a Methodist and changed to Anglican or Episcopal as it is sometimes called in the USA, because my husband was Anglican. We went to church while our daughters were at Sunday School but neither of us knew Jesus. Our marriage was getting worse as the years went by and many times I considered suicide. Once while going fast round a bend in the road while my husband was driving I wanted to open the door and fall out and another time I considered jumping from the first floor above our garage. The only things that stopped me were that with my luck I would only hurt myself and maybe God would not forgive me if I did.
Then the church had a “Mission” and out of rebellion to my husband, I went. It was every evening for 7 days. At this stage my husband was going out a lot before he came home so I asked if he would be home so I could attend. He agreed and did very well from the Sunday until the Wednesday. It was time to leave and he had not arrived so I asked our maid to babysit though I did not really want to go. Her response was “If you want to go, go; if you do not want to go do not go!” I thought how much she needed the extra money so I went.
That night when we were told if anyone wanted to give their lives to Jesus they needed to go to the altar rail. I knew I wanted to but thought I needed to think about it. How silly I was! From then I could not wait for the next night when I knew I would go up to that altar rail, but again my husband was not home when I should leave. My maid was off that day so I packed the children in their pajamas and gowns into the car and was backing out when my husband arrived and Suzanne wanted to stay with him while Megan wanted to come with me. We went and at the altar call I went up crying one second and laughing the next (years later I learnt that was the Holy Spirit in me). And so on 30 April 1981 I gave my life to Jesus and asked Him into my life. I went home and told my husband I had given my life to Jesus but not to worry, I would not become a Bible puncher, but would love people to Jesus!
Then I joined a Bible study group which was a blessing because not only did I get to hear the Word of God and understand it more and to pray aloud but I also got to know a few people from the church I had been attending. Over the years I was very involved in that church as a long standing member, parish secretary, served on their Parish Council a number of times and became a Lay Minister and grew in closeness to Jesus..
During that time my husband and I got divorced and my girls lived with me and grew up, went to boarding school and that period was extremely hard and lonely for me. Not only did we have very little money but very few friends. I praise God as I look back on those times – He never left me! He supplied all my needs! There were two occasions I remember very clearly when we had so little money that I did not know how one of my daughters was going to be able to go to a school social because I did not have the R2-00 (28c US) it would cost but I told her she would go! The day before the social I cleared out the garage and found some empty Coca-cola bottles and we took them to the shop when she came home from school. We were given the deposit from the bottles and as I bent down and gave her the R2-00 (28c US) she needed I said “and look, there is some for me too!” The other time family were coming to lunch and we had a salad but no tomatoes and I told the girls it would be nice to have tomatoes but I did not have money to buy them. Within ten minutes of saying that the door bell rang and a lady from the church was there saying to me “God told me to give these to you!” and off she went. When I opened the packet she had handed me, it was FULL of tomatoes! I KNEW GOD WAS LOOKING AFTER US!
My daughters finished school and moved to Johannesburg, the big city, to work and I was able then to find work and praised God for supplying it for me.
I had been working for the church for 15 years when in June 2009 I believed God had told me to retire early by the end of the year. I spoke to my Ex-husband (we are on “good terms”) and he said I could not afford to with the pension I would get and to try to stick it out, so I stayed. If I had obeyed God I would have been saved the anguish I went through on being asked, at the end of November to please take early retirement at the end of December! That was a terrible time for me during which again I considered suicide because I had not remembered how God had told me in July to leave so I saw it as the Church making that decision! I went “through the mill” which was very similar to the experience I had with my divorce. The Anglican church, in the end, was good to me by asking me to return for February and they would give me a home with “Life Rights” to one of their retirement cottages as a thank you for services rendered to the church through all the years I was a member and as Secretary. Again, God allowed me to go through all that because He knew what plans he had for me. Now I praise Him with hindsight which I will tell you about…
Both my daughters had married US citizens (but that is another whole long story which was very hard at the time and turned out wonderfully unbelievable as God’s plans always do!). I have been very fortunate to be able to go over and visit my family there periodically. When I went again in 2010 I had retired from work the day I left for a 6 month visit to the USA. My younger daughter and son-in-law Rick and Sue their family would be moving from South Carolina to Arizona so they needed help with their daughter so they could pack; and my elder daughter and son-in-law Steve and Megan in Vermont were expecting their 4th child so needed help with the other children when Megan went into hospital. I could not have been of any help to either of them if I had still been working and God knew this long before I did!
In one of my quiet times walking along the road in South Carolina I told the Lord: “I give up! I am through with fighting everyone and everything” and asked Him to speak to me through His Word (King James Bible) and he sent me to read the book of James. There is so much in that small book but what I was directed to was “be quiet and listen”. When I got back to the family home I started keeping quiet while I watched and listened to what was happening.
I continued to “Keep quiet and listen” and learnt so much more, like what it REALLY means saying “it’s not all about me” etc … but this IS all about me what the Lord has done in my life since then too…
One Fellowship family had a grandmother who had had a stroke and was coming back to her home so the grandchildren were moving in (with their children) to her home to be able to help her as she was not able to walk let alone much else. Well everyone in the Church there stopped everything to get “Grandma’s” home clean and reorganized for her. That no sooner done and another family’s house burnt down so off everyone went to help move what they could to the home of Grandma’s grandchildren, which was now vacant. Then another family also moved. My thoughts at that time were – what about someone helping MY children who are moving FAR? Well I did not have to say anything because it then became their turn and everyone was there to help with yard sales and packing etc. THIS, I thought, is the meaning of “fellowship” and “servant-hood”! All of it was done with happy faces and pleasure and absolutely no “attitude” from anyone.
I thought of my church back home in South Africa where the membership was about 200 families and was sad to think that when I moved only about 3 people offered to help me and I had only two weeks to do it in and am nearly double Sue’s age!
I used to pray walking up and down the driveway while in South Carolina and one day I “heard” God say “Join the Fishermen Ministry” and I IMMEDIATELY said “OK”. A few days later in the same driveway He said “What about Lay Ministry” and I said “What about it?” I had only done it because He had called me to do it and if He wanted me now to stop – that was OK by me! Another few days went by and He spoke to me again. My friend since 1985 has been also a Joan and is a priest in the Anglican Church. This time God said “What if Joan rejects you?” and I said “Hey I have been rejected all my life at least YOU won’t reject me and will still be there!”
I then asked the Lord if I could tell my family in South Carolina because the decision to join The Fishermen Ministry had been made there and I would be going up to Vermont. His reply was “Wait – Arizona”. This was logical to me because when I visited Rick and Sue in their new home in Arizona we would go to Texas where the headquarters of the Church is and I would see Davy and Ann again (having met them briefly 9 years before at the blessing of Rick and Sue’s marriage) and I believed that would be the right time to ask Davy if I could join the church.
I had met Davy and it had not been a happy meeting or parting mainly because I had been so full of self-righteous pride and arrogance. My meeting with the Lord on the driveway had opened my eyes to many things like just that. It was as if He said to me “My Darling, you have cataracts, let me remove them for you” and NOW I can see those things which before I was totally blind to and what is more they stand out a mile in me and in others to me!
I did meet Davy and Ann again and it was such a blessing as we hugged with the love of the Lord and all the past was gone and a new start began… Davy and Ann were most gracious to me and welcomed me to the Church. Davy prayed against the “shakes” I had been experiencing since I was a teenager and had got worse as I got older until I could not drink from a glass or cup without a straw and Jesus healed me – my church back home had always just said “shame” and never offered prayer!
I returned home to South Africa as they say fired up but not knowing what to do or how to go about anything and then the bomb hit! I had been living for 6 months with my family (members of the Fellowship) and now I was home with nobody in the Fellowship and to top it all my computer did not want to work and the service providers could not help me either. For about 5 days that seemed an eternity I was ALONE!!! NOW I praise God for that time because it showed me that my comfort and friend really is Jesus! Each time I started getting depressed I would open my Bible (King James) and read and IMMEDIATELY the depression would disappear and in its place would be peace and joy.
I had to get my passport visa renewed and for some reason was fearful of it so prayed he would get me there in time, without much stress, and not let them ask me too many questions. I left home for possibly a two hour drive to the Embassy in peak hour traffic during which one usually has to get into first gear for miles at a time, but got there in forty-five minutes without going into first gear once! Then was not asked a single question, not even “How are you?” ! Now that was CERTAINLY my God at work on my behalf!
I did not know how to get a Bible study going and He showed me to the people He wanted to attend it.
God continues to not reject me even when I make silly mistakes and to shower His blessings on me as I continue to try to obey Him and walk in His ways regardless of what people, including my friends say. I have seen that what I learnt through The Fishermen Ministry was right, the King James Bible is the only true Word of God (see my article on My testimony of the King James Bible) and as I stand on His word and in Him, he stands by me! He has proved his promises to me teaching me, forgiving me, not deserting me, supplying my needs (and sometimes even my greeds) healing me, and giving me His grace all the time I obey His Word. What a mighty God, Saviour and Friend indeed!
Daily I listen for Him to speak to me, I speak to Him and speak of him and am excited about the unexpected that He will put in my way as we go together as I praise Him more.
Joan Clinning